DSC_0010ย I am sitting here, honestly not really knowing what to write. BUT, I owe it to everybody to give this last update (not that I’ve died, but well, you’ll see). It doesn’t quite seem real to me. My surroundings at this present time are so familiar, yet so foreign. I must say, I never thought I would say this, that Canada is somewhat foreign to me! But no worries, because as you may or may not have guessed, I’m back! I will be fully Canadian again shortly. Yes, I, Hannah Elizabeth Macuzzi, world-traveler extraordinaire, am sitting in my childhood bedroom. I am chillin (literally!, it’s about 30 or 40 degrees colder up here), with my very own mother sitting downstairs on her favourite chair.

Yep. I was de-nied. Coool story though. I honestly didn’t really see it coming, and I think that was the Lord’s mercy because if I had, I would not have dug so deeply where I was at, nor would I have been able to have been so focused on discipling and my leadership role in the worship aspect of the Dream Center and school. I was able to assist in getting our School of Worship up off the ground! By the time I left, I was pretty much co-running it. Which is so cool, because when I first applied to the school, I thought it was a worship school! It wasn’t, but only God knew that there would be one in the future and He used me to help start it!

Anyways, so I got the denial notice in the mail on February 15th. It was a denial, but they gave me the opportunity to appeal the decision at the cost of $630 within 30 days. Also, I had a friend who was contacting senators and congressman for me. So, at that point I thought something was going to work out so I could stay. I spent 3 weeks trying to contact my lawyer. When I finally got in contact with her, she was not in favour of appealing because we had no new information and the reason they denied me was not technically appealable. So, I contacted my friend and told him I had about a week to get out of the country unless he had some news. He hadn’t had enough time to get any answers or help. Sooo, it just so happens that after I contacted my mom saying I needed to get out of the country in a week, my brother was in Ohio and I had exactly $200 from Christmas that I don’t even know why I hadn’t spent, and it was exactly $200 in gas to get up to Ohio from Atlanta. I had 3 of my schoolmates offer to drive me up and meet him.

Few strange ‘coincidences’ (?maybenot?), my American phone permanently died that week, and my one-time-only extended driver’s licence expired in a couple weeks. And any other way of transportation would have cost more than the $200 I had. ? Hmm interesting!

So I on Wednesday March 6, 2013 I found out I had to leave on Saturday March 9, 2013. Talk about a sudden change of plans! Haha, well for me, but obviously not for the Lord. That last week I was also extremely busy, because the Worship Director was out of the country on a mission’s trip and I was running it. I also had to pack my life, and say goodbye to as many of my Atlantian family as I could. Unfortunately, in the 4 days I had, I couldn’t say goodbye to everyone, and a lot of the school was away on ministry trips. And I couldn’t say goodbye to my block that I pastor, or a lot of the Dream Center church members that I was close with. Probably the hardest, most emotionally heart breaking week of my life! Haha and I was heading straight into the UNKNOWN. Probably the scariest place that exists, unless you know the Father. Which, Praise God, I do ๐Ÿ™‚

Really cool testimony… There was so much going on last week, and I told the Lord “Lord, I will have absolutely no closure! It’s so fast and I don’t really have anything at home for me to do, what do I do??! I’m gonna leave and my heart will be left there because no one had time to give it back to me!” …. But because the Lord is completely faithful, and loving, He made sure that every student that was there encouraged me, loved on me, and sent me off. They rallied around and just poured out blessing on my life. I received so many words of life, prophetic encouragements, and hugs and testimonies of how the Lord used me, I had no doubts in my mind that the past years were in vain (stinkin enemy and his lies!) or that I went through that immigration process for nothing. The Lord was able to use His life in me to even effect and help transform the students that just came in January! I had no idea that I was such an influence until last week! Haha ๐Ÿ™‚ It was a blessing to see how many lives the Lord touched.

Seriously, without Him in me, I’ve realized that I’m a wreck. I got to teach/share with the School of Worship my last day there, about how I am still able to have joy and peace in the midst of trials and suffering. How I can be super sad, but yet supernaturally joyful at the same time! It was so cool to see that the Lord’s testimony in my life really does reveal Himself. Which is my goal! I just want people to see Jesus! I want them to know Him! I want His essence to be out rayed from my life (His glory to be revealed).

1 Peter 4: 12-13 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.ย But rejoice insofar as you share Christโ€™s sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed.

I love His faithfulness! Intimacy comes from brokenness. It’s precious!! I wouldn’t trade this pain for anything, because I know His love so much more because of it. He is my Daddy, and Holy Spirit’s other name is Comforter! Praise God!! What kind of God is this that comforts His people? My God, that’s who!! I am also so excited because through this time, He has spoken to me in numerous ways that He IS in control, despite the fact that I am so out of control. Actually, funny, He told me that in His grace and mercy He pushed me off the edge because I was taking too long to jump ๐Ÿ˜› Haha! Someone also told me that same day that she felt like the Lord was taking me out of my comfort zone and pushing me onward so that I could lean on Him alone again (funny part is that I had JUST gotten comfortable, haha He moves fast!!).

So I hope this made at least a little sense, it jumps around a lot partially because I’m still in shock and I’ve realized I’m in somewhat of a mourning state (not depressed though, don’t worry). And I have less of a clue as to what is happening than you do ๐Ÿ˜›

Until I figure it out, my ears and eyes are open and ready to go forth into the next phase of my adventure with Him. I’m kind of liking the resting and just hanging out with Him portion though too, not gonna lie. His lap is really peaceful ๐Ÿ™‚

Love, grace and peace to you from our Lord Jesus Christ,

Until next time,

Hannah

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Comments
  1. Colleen says:

    While I know that leaving a ministry is hard, we up here in the great white North are very glad to have you back with us for a while

  2. You made me tear up… I actually know a bit what your talking about, and had was moved – just when I realized LOVE. He is so good to us, and keeps us on our toes, looking to Him all the way… You did make me tear up slightly, but that was probably just the speck in my eye… ๐Ÿ™‚ So proud of you!

  3. Saraphina says:

    Love you Hannah!

  4. Linda Montsion says:

    Hannah: You are a precious daughter. I love you. Your honesty is a testimony to the Lord. I pray you keep sitting on His knee until he shows you the way to go. Don’t rush! He has a grand plan for you and I know that as He is faithful you will soon know what He has in mind for you! Bless you in whatever and where ever He takes you.
    I, too, am glad you are home in the Great White North where the snow continues to fall.

    Blessings and love,

  5. I’m a bit behind with this comment, but just wanted to say that I am really moved by how God has worked in your life.

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