Identity Crisis

Posted: March 20, 2010 in Thoughts

“You’re too fat! Your laugh is too loud! You look too serious! Your nose is too big! Your eyes aren’t blue! You’re too short! Your clothes sense is nonsense! You’re a doormat! You’re too sensitive! You’re not popu—–”

AAAH!!! I start questioning myself. Should I go on a diet?? Should I stop laughing?? Should I stop reflecting and thinking?? Should I start spending my money on clothes to fit in? Should I never think about what others want or need and only think about myself?? Should I stop caring?? What do I need to do to become more popular??? Will I ever be good enough? What am I doing on this earth?? And now… the biggest question of all. The question I knew the answer to at one time, back when I was a child and only cared about what a few people thought of me. My daddy called me his sunshine. My mommy called me her princess. Jesus called me His best friend. That’s all I needed to know. I was loved. But now, I’m not so sure anymore. Other voices are crowding in. Confusing me. Telling me I’m  not worth it. I’m not lovable. Telling me I’m stupid. Who should I believe? Who am I really?

But wait… I hear something else… a much more quiet and still voice… not shouting in my ear… shhh world BE QUIET!!!

“You are the perfect size… your laugh makes me smile so huge… I gave you that intensity… your nose is your heritage… your eyes are a beautiful mixture of green, brown and yellow… you like to put others before yourself… you are popular with ME… you are My daughter… you are who I was thinking about before I started creating the world… you are the one that I want to sit on my lap in heaven… you are the one that I died for so that you could! I love you”

WOA!! umm God? Is that you? Do you, the Most High King of all Kings, really think about me like that? Hmm… Well it says here in Your word that you do.

Psalm 103: 11-18 ” For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust. As for man, his days are like grass, he flourishes like a flower of the field; the wind blows over it and it is gone, and its place remembers it no more. But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children.”

So You have loved me and will love me forever and ever? That is amazing! How can I even compare who matters more between the world and You? The world is only temporary. Where as You are eternal. The world generally does not die for people. Yet, You died for the world. The world can give its approval or disapproval. You LOVE.

Thank You Jesus. I am Yours.

  1. Hannah, this is so transparently beautiful!

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